Dave's Life Sketch

It has been said the only way to take the sorrow out of death is to take the love out of life.* Dave brought a lot of love to our life. Our hearts are completely broken and devastated at this early departure of our favored brother, uncle and son. Dave was discovered on January 15th after having suffered a fatal heart attack.

David Joseph Merrill, son of Jesse and Lucinda Merrill, was born on March 24, 1978 in Bangor, Maine. His body progressed much faster than his 45 years of living should have allowed. As a young boy he actually had a fear that he would leave this life young. This fear was based, in part, from his difficulty with breathing. In 1991, the Merrills sold their family farm and moved to Utah at the advice of the local doctors to move their 13 year old son to a drier climate. When he was graduating from Orem High what we thought was an anxiety attack was in actuality the collapse of one of his lungs. When he was in the Missionary Training Center the other lung collapsed. Having only a portion of both lungs attached to his chest wall did not improve his ability to breath freely. At that time the doctors told him he had the lungs of either a heavy smoker or an elderly man. Since David had never smoked we could only assume the later was true! That previous diagnosis was confirmed recently when a test revealed he had the body of an 80 year old man! At a recent family celebration David comically shared in his autobiographical sketch that he was going to donate his body to science so they could figure out what happened! Clearly Dave didn’t need as much time as the rest of us to figure out the secret to being happy.

Dave brought so much joy to our family. He never fought or reacted out of anger even in his youth. He was a peacemaker and would often go behind the scenes to smooth things over if feelings ever got ruffled. His quick one-liner responses always resulted in laughter erupting. Often he would quote Homer Simpson, Shawn Spencer, or Leslie Nielsen but they came so naturally they sounded like his own retorts. David also enjoyed several shows from the 80s. He loved to reflect on our childhood home and life on the farm in Maine. Watching shows from that time period helped connect him back to when we were all together. His flashback to the 80s though were often wasted on the young students he served as a counselor for the past 11 years at Centennial Middle School. He said he would often get blank stares and no chuckles when he’d insert one of his favorite references. Even though they may have missed his humor, we are sure they couldn’t have

missed his concern for each of them and their well-being. If any of his students, past or present, are here today please know that the best way you could honor Mr. Merrill would be to continue his legacy of being a peacemaker and showing kindness to all.

Dave enjoyed staying current with the news, playing card games with his family (Skull King currently), keeping stats on our sibling daily wordle game and sports. He LOVED watching all things sports, especially the NFL Draft and March Madness with his one and only brother, Dean. He loved to create spread sheets on poster boards for them to record the results and make their predictions. It was an event—complete with pizza, snacks and Mtn Dew! He loved going golfing with his brother, brothers-in-law and nephews. David also LOVED hockey. He collected 74 hockey jerseys (which we are all wearing in his honor) and had two closets in his home devoted to their storage. In his younger years David played basketball and street hockey and would have played even more if his breathing would have allowed him to. The Maine Black Bears’ women’s basketball team lost a devoted fan and supporter. For the past several years he has corresponded by sending a small donation and has enjoyed receiving their Christmas card and thank you in return. He liked to support his home state in a small way and this was one thing he could do.

David lived for retirement. He loved the kids and his co-workers but his often paralyzing anxiety made going to work difficult. Ironically he spent his days helping others manage their own personal stress. He was good at it because he understood it.

Despite his health issues, Dave is the only Merrill to have received his Master’s Degree. There was no celebration or fanfare. We just know he got it. His anxiety made it difficult though for him to do all he would have liked to have done. Traveling was a fear he only faced a few times in his life. The first time he flew was as a young 19 year old boy to his mission in Houston Texas—he threw up the whole way. He flew one other time to Maine and traveled by car to Arizona twice despite that fear. The second trip to Arizona he drove solo and was very pleased he maneuvered the 607 miles with only the help of his GPS. We actually planned to surprise David this summer with a sibling trip to Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia since he has always wanted to go there. Perhaps he sensed our mutiny!

David loved the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He faithfully studied his scriptures and conference talks but could’t bring himself to attend church on Sunday. Walking into a family ward by himself was more than he could manage but he was striving to overcome that. He responded to calls to help clean the church or to help a fellow ward member move. His heart was there even if his body was not.

David wrote the following in a history book of our family:

“When I was probably around ten, we were coming home from haying the Palmyra field. Dean was driving the tractor and it seemed like we were going really slowly. I thought I could run home faster than we were going so I decided to jump from the wagon to the road. Well we were going a little faster than I thought because I immediately fell and was under the wheels. I hit hard and then I felt two hands push me up just as the wheel from the wagon ripped the skin off my back. I know that it happened too fast for me to react so I know I had some divine help that day save me from myself (and Dean’s driving).

Again when I was around ten (a busy year) I was in charge of putting the wood in the stove before we went to bed. Mom and Dad were in Washington D.C. to the temple and the kids were home in Maine. Well I’m still not sure just how that stove works but while I was in bed asleep I had the strongest urge to get up and just sit at the top of the stairs. I just sat there looking at the stove and then it finally hit me—the stove was bright red! It usually is black so I knew something was wrong. I woke up my siblings and they called our neighbor who came and put out the chimney fire I had started by not turning a valve of some kind. Had I not woke up, the house would have caught on fire and that would not have been ideal. Right after that mom called from D.C. She knew something wasn’t right.

I was in the hospital after another lung surgery. I was 19 and supposed to be on my mission at this point but my lung had other plans. It collapsed at the MTC at night but I was going to wait to go to the hospital in the morning. My companion said we should go now instead of waiting which was good because the lung was on my left side and it would have cut off my heart and killed me (thanks Elder Page). I remember being in the hospital really in some discomfort and feeling really down. I was alone one night and I just started talking to God, not like he was a Being up in heaven that I couldn’t see but that he was my Heavenly Father and he was in the room with me. I told him how I was feeling and I told him some jokes and I told him the things I was grateful for (my family

etc). It was one of the best nights of my life as I did not feel alone anymore. I think that might have been the most spiritual experience of my life just from sitting there talking to God. It sounds weird and I can’t explain it but the feeling still gives me goosebumps when I think about that night.

I wanted to make sure these three experience are recorded so I will always remember that our Heavenly Father loves all of us no matter how small or insignificant we sometimes feel.”

Dave was far from insignificant as any who knew him will attest. His remaining family members—his mom Lucinda and five siblings (Elnora, Elena, Nichole, Dean and Rachel) along with their spouses and his 27 nieces and nephews will have a huge hole in their heart. Thankfully our dad will now have his company, which brings us some comfort. Dave recently said the two constants in his life are his family and the church. And because of the doctrine of the church of Jesus Christ we rejoice in knowing he will always have his family. We love you Dave!!! Thank you for making a difference!

*President Russell M. Nelson; “Doors of Death”; April 1992

NOTES:

Written on behalf of his family by his sister, Elnora Merrill Pace. Read at David’s funeral on 1/20/24 by brother-in-law, Rick Daniels.