Parenting questions

 Ellie sent out questions yesterday that she had been asked and so after I answered I sent them to my girls to answer about me to see what their perspectives were.  I wanted to have them recorded so the best place for me is here. 

#1 I magnify my role as mom the most when:

Me:  showing unconditional love when choices are different than I hoped and wanted but still trying to set a good example of a follower of Christ.

Morgan: you are very encouraging   Growing up I never thought there was anything that I couldn't do or be if I worked hard enough, and I think you guys fostered that mindset.

Lexi:  I think magnify means to make small things big and that like the definition of motherhood, small everyday actions and everyday sacrifices to show your kids love.  You went above and beyond as a mom so much, all the fun holidays, trips, you taught seminary for us, always showed up for us in school or sports and those big things are the most memorable but I think it's the basics of taking care of us so selflessly day in and day out that makes you a great mom.  (new mom Lexi is understanding the love and sacrifice required:))

Me about my mom:  You always want to improve upon what you were given, but mom did family scriptures so well growing up that I will admit I did not improve on that.   I remember how she would gather us all together to read scriptures and prayers.  Dad was in the barn doing night chores but mom made sure she would read to us and as we got older with us.  I know that my love for the Book of Mormon came from those picture book stories that we read as children.  I had no doubt my mom had a testimony of Jesus Christ and a love for the scriptures.  

#2 Best mom advice:

Me: Being consistent in the small and simple things.  I think when I managed to do that and stop letting fear of the future control my actions then things seemed to work out.

Morgan: Telling me to apply to Oxford even though I thought I had no chance of getting in!  

Lexi: (she gave advice to me). keep being a cool mom/grandma avoid the naturalizes (inside joke)

Me about my mom:  Love your husband and show him that.  Think of his needs first or think about what would make him happy.  I did not like that advice when I was first married and struggled with pride a lot.  Our first few year were not the best ones but when I put my mom's advice to work finally, that all changed.  

#3 Biggest struggle you have as a parent

Me:  Being a reactive parent.  Kind of letting the squeaky wheel of the day get my attention and for a lot of years the squeaky wheel was the same.  I feel like things and people were neglected during that time.

Morgan: I don't know if I can answer that one.

Lexi: biggest struggle is not spoiling us! Ha ha (I do have a problem and now it extends to my grandchildren)

Me about my mom:  I would say doubting herself and her abilities.  She never gave herself enough credit and feels badly about some things but after being a mom and knowing what is required, mom did the important things really well.  

#4 Favorite tradition you have as a family

Me:  Our Easter treasure hunt that Rick would write the best clues for.

Morgan: The whole Christmas season really.  I love how our whole house would transform into a winter wonderland and I loved baking together. 

Lexi:  I loved Christmas at home.  I loved the crafts, the decorations, picking out a tree, all the yummy treats.  It was just a month long joy fest every year.

Me about my mom.  Going with dad to pick out the Christmas tree and coming home where mom would oh and ah about it being the best one yet,  We would have treats and hot cocoa and decorate it.  Christmas was the most magical time of the year, and I always wanted to create that magic for my kids. Just the feeling of love and family was so magnified during that season. 

#5 Favorite go-to meal on a hectic day.(it said homemade but I did not notice that part)

Me:  Cereal

Morgan:  chicken patties and steamed broccoli

Lexi:  rice and beans or tortilla soup

Me about my mom:  I think it would be that hamburger rice casserole that had cream of mushroom soup and Worchester sauce?  I loved that and it seemed to be a simple throw together meal

#6 How do you make your home a refuge from the storm:

Me: Having pictures of the Savior has always been a must!  I remember hearing a story told in conference when I was a young mom where a lady had pictures of boats and oceans scenes on her walls.  All of her children grew up to do something with the water. They pointed out how our children can be influenced by what is in our home.  I wanted my home to reflect my love for the Savior and hopefully my kids would feel and see that.  Even though in one home Blake asked if he could have a normal boy's room and not a Jesus room. (it was good to see the girls' answers on this one, my hopes were realized)

Morgan:  I always felt the Spirit in our home. I remember on my mission visiting members' homes for dinner and being surprised that they didn't feel like my home growing up.  The spirit wasn't absent; it just wasn't palpable.  I think part of the reason our home was such a haven was cleanliness, pictures of Christ and the temple everywhere, and that there wasn't any spirit-inhibiting media or bad language allowed.  Also just a lot of love in our home.  Especially between you and dad. 

Lexi: Our home growing up was such a refuge.  We always had the spirit there.  Looking back you invited the Savior through art on the wall, church music on Sunday, scripture study and just through conversation. You and dad always made sure we knew we were loved too.  We didn't have negative influences at home ever and it was a wonderful place to recharge.

Me about my mom:  The gospel of Jesus Christ was the main topic that we discussed in our home.  Not sports, not politics, but Jesus Christ and the scriptures.  Not having a TV in our home growing up also allowed the Spirit to be present and not have the world creep in through the shows and news of the day.  We were each others' best friends and playmates and my home felt so safe and warm. (which is a great accomplishment considering we were living in the arctic tundra of Maine) but when I think back on my childhood the word warm is what I think of.  I think that is due to the Spirit and love that was there that could overcome everything else. My mom was a huge part of creating this feeling.

I also want to record what Justin sent back to Ellie when she asked him his answers:  I about choked laughing.  Love boys! "Mom, I can't answer those for you.  They are questions only you can answer.  I can't say what your favorites are or what you think your biggest struggle is!"  So funny. 

Tyson did answer and I am sure Caden would too but Blake would respond just like Justin I am sure!  In fact , I can almost hear him saying that to me verbatim!